Human nature has three areas of reaction to offenses: the head, the heart and health.

The head generally is concerned with the reality aspect of an offense – who was at fault and how it is to be reconciled and compensated. This might have any of the following expressions:
1. One might genuinely communicate the reality of an offense, given or taken. This is done with the one person to recover the relationship. It clears the relational record and slows for the friendship to move forward.
2. There can also be a negative and more juvenile reaction – retaliation. For some, “getting even” is a satisfactory judicial reaction.
3. A third expression or maneuver is the wholesale cutting off of relationship, i.e. withdrawal.
(See Luke 17:1-5)

The heart generally is concerned with the hurtful wound aspect of an offense: “I’m so devastated and embarrassed I can’t go on!” The offense feels the same as a debt that is owed. There is deep pain and suffering emotionally until healing comes. The healing can take anywhere from just a few moments of yieldedness to years.

A second common reaction is to exploit the use of abuse of pain-numbing activities or substances.
(See Mark 9:42-50)

Health is concerned with the body’s ability to recover while carrying the offense. It is the deteriorating of the physical body under the stresses of being wounded, particularly if the offense takes more than three days to resolve.

There seem to be certain bio-chemical conditions that occur in the body under the stresses of guilt, pain, anger, bitterness or hostility. Some of these emotions are part of the body’s “fight or flight” mechanism and, thus, are sustainable in the short run. But over the long haul our bodies may not have the built-in ability to process and live with these very destructive and damaging emotions.

Proverbs 18:14: The spirit of the person will sustain his infirmity; but a wound of the spirit who can bear?

To restate the possibility: A common reaction to a spirit hurt is to use or abuse pain-numbing activities (producing workaholics or hobby compulsions) or substances (resulting in overeating and oversleeping or drug and alcohol abuse). It is obvious that such compensations over time diminish health as well as close off chances for relationships.
Ephesians 4:24-27: Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry but do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

Hebrews 13:14-16: And very importantly, pursue peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord; looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and, by this, many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.

(Posted February 14, 2005)